This is a question that many parents will come across when raising teenagers and it’s also one of the best things your child can ask you. It means: I’m opening the door for us to talk about drugs and alcohol and I value your opinion.

While there is no magic formula for how to answer this question, there is one important thing to remember: you can and should use your personal experiences as a teaching tool.

But before you disclose anything, find out why your child is asking the question. Maybe they’re wondering if it’s true what they hear from their friends, that “everyone experiments when they are younger” or maybe they want some advice on how to say no to peer pressure. By finding out what information your child wants to know, you can direct your response appropriately.

If you have never tried drugs and tell your child so, they may not believe you or question your authority on the consequences. If you tell them you have tried drugs, you may think your child will see this as a free pass to experiment themselves. To get the point across that drug use is never acceptable, it’s important to stress the negative effects of drug use, whether you experienced them first-hand or can recount them second-hand.

Another fact that will help to get your point across is that we know a lot more today about how harmful smoking, drinking and drug use is for teens than we did a generation ago. We know that from 1992 to 2006, there was a 175 percent jump in the potency of marijuana and that children and teens that begin drinking before age 15 are four times likelier to become alcohol dependent than those who do not drink before age 21.

Talking about drugs and alcohol is never easy and can feel overwhelming if you’re unsure what the “right” thing to say is. But remember: using your personal experiences, whether first hand or second hand, as a teaching tool and being aware of the current facts about drug and alcohol abuse will prepare you to talk to your kids if this question ever comes up. For more tips on how to talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol, click here.

Has your child ever asked you if you’ve done drugs? How did you reply, and how did the conversation go?

The recent rulings about whether or not it is constitutional to mandate graphic warning labels on cigarette packaging brings to light an important question: how can you use your Parent Power to counteract the power that media and advertising has on your kids? As a parent, you can provide your children with the right messages to replace the wrong ones. Tobacco companies spend billions to get your kids to start smoking at an early age. These companies know what the public health and scientific research communities have now confirmed – that if they don’t get kids to start smoking when they are young, those kids may never start. Getting kids to experiment is key to developing long-term customers and adult addicts.  With more than 400,000 smoking-related deaths a year, the tobacco industry merchants need to get at least 5,000 kids a day to try cigarettes just so they can maintain their markets.

But as susceptible as children’s brains are to the constant integrated messages in the media, you as a parent are still their most trusted source of information. Talking to kids about media messages in an open and honest way is the first step. By explaining where particular messages come from, who is paying for the commercials on TV, online and in print and what their goal is will help your children figure out for themselves the motivations behind a lot of the “cool” messages and brands they are exposed to. Teach your kids that advertising is meant to influence the way they think. Adolescents will be empowered by understanding that advertising can be manipulative. This is why the truth® antismoking campaign of the American Legacy Foundation was so successful. This campaign educated teens about tobacco advertising; it recognizes that teens are rebellious and want to view themselves as independent; is says to kids, “Don’t let these guys manipulate you.”

So will the graphic warning labels on cigarette packages help parents in their fight to keep their kids smoke-free? That’s still debatable. But one thing isn’t – that parent power trumps media power and is still the most effective way to help keep kids tobacco and substance-free.

The first day of spring is tomorrow! For ideas on how to make the most of the warmer weather and family time, check out our “to-do list”:

1. Go to a museum and play a quick game of eye spy in one of the exhibits.
2. Go hiking and reward yourself with a nice picnic lunch when you get to the top.
3. Make dinner together while pretending that you’re on a cooking show. Our very own recipe ideas here.
4. Go to the zoo and make sure to take pictures near the most exotic looking animals.
5. Put on music and have a dance party in your living room.
6. Go bowling. Winner gets to pick the dinner spot afterwards!
7. Visit a historical site or landmark in your area.
8. Look through old family photographs.
9. Catch a play at your local community theater.
10. Have a “mystery trip” day. Pick a fun destination within a few hours’ drive, but don’t tell the kids! Feel free to give them hints along the way!
11. Turn household chores into games. You get to do an “inspection” when the kids are done with their assigned tasks. The person that did the best job gets a prize.
12. Go to a pottery painting shop or ceramics café and get the creativity flowing!
13. Find a drive-in movie theater and make the trip, it will be a totally new experience with kids and for kids!
14. Write a story with your kids. You start with the first sentence, then take turns. Get started with our Family Fairy Tales.
15. And of course: have dinner together!

Why is it that teenagers seem to be so impulsive and so reckless at times? It’s because teenagers’ brains are still developing. The process of cognitive development that is responsible for our judgment, decision making and impulse control continues all the way until our mid-20s, when the human brain becomes fully formed.

Teens literally are not always able to control their impulses the way that adults can, which can lead to situations and decisions that put them and others at risk. Because their brains are still developing, adolescents lack some of the “wiring” that sends the brake or stop signals to the rest of the brain. Teenagers’ brains encourage them to take risks for fun, and they don’t perceive those risks as dangerous in the way that adult brains do.

For more science behind teen brain development, see The Partnership at Drug Free.org’s podcast “Understanding the Developing Teen Brain”.

So how can parents intervene in this natural maturing process and try to prevent their teens from making dangerous decisions? A big part is setting rules and boundaries and enforcing them. Also, a relationship based on trust, respect and honesty between parents and teens encourages teens to think twice before they engage in risky behaviors for fear of disappointing their parents. We know that one of the major reasons teens say they refrain from doing drugs is because of their parents. Teens really do care what their parents think of them, and generally don’t want to disappoint them: in CASA Columbia surveys we have asked children who do not smoke, drink, or use drugs “why?” They overwhelmingly have answered: “Because our parents would be extremely upset.”

Building that respect and trust is not always easy but it certainly pays off. How do you build openness, trust and respect with your teens?

As the 2012 Presidential election approaches and we’re exposed to all the positives and negatives of the American political process, it’s a good opportunity to speak with your kids about the qualities that make a good leader. By putting this into context, kids might become more interested in the political process and history and more importantly they may begin to identify qualities they like in others that they want to emulate themselves.

Does your child already have the makings of a future leader? Developing these traits even further and acknowledging how valuable they are gives children a sense of importance and individuality, which can be essential when faced with peer pressure. Building self-esteem is one of the key ingredients in keeping kids confident enough in themselves to make positive decisions and resist the pressure to smoke, drink or use drugs.

Remember that your kids look up to you because you are the leaders of your household; you have the power to influence them in a way no one else does.  Always encourage them to expand on their strengths and work on their weaknesses and teach them to make the right decisions in their lives, even if they are unpopular or hard. It’s important we do this because the leaders of tomorrow are being raised right in our homes today!

What qualities do you think make a great leader?

As an engaged parent, there are countless ways to show your kids you care! We’ve put together 10 of our favorites.

1. Celebrate everyday milestones. Make a special dinner with your child as the guest of honor to toast losing a tooth, making the soccer team, getting an A on a science paper, and more.

2. Remind your children of something they’ve taught you.

3. Treat your kids to “just one more book” every now and again even if it’s late and you’re tired. And don’t forget to read to older children who already know how to read themselves. It’s a great opportunity to snuggle.

4. Slip little love notes, jokes, poems, and words of encouragement into your children’s lunchboxes, backpacks, or next to their beds (if you leave before they wake up), just to let them know you’re thinking about them all day long. For kids a little older, try sending them cute notes via text messages.

5. Let your children hear you complimenting them to someone else.

6. Tell them how wonderful it is being their parent and how much you like the way they’re growing up.

7. Cut your kids’ sandwiches into shapes with cookie cutter hearts and stars.

8. Wear the “jewels” your children make for you and display their artwork proudly in a special, visible place.

9. Tell them their feelings are okay and acknowledge what they are feeling.

10. Hug them, kiss them, and say “I love you” every day, no matter what. Kids thrive on it and it’s a daily fix we all need no matter what our age!

How do you show your kids you care?

As we begin 2012, we have our eyes on one very important date: September 24 – which is when Family Day will be celebrated nationwide this year!

It’s never too early to start planning your Family Day celebrations. To help get your wheels turning, we’d like to spotlight a couple of organizations that have created campaigns around Family Day for their communities.

The Seven Counties’ Services Regional Prevention Center in Louisville, KY, which works to provide drug and alcohol prevention strategies for local coalitions, churches, schools, and other agencies in the area, created a Family Day-themed calendar to distribute locally through their faith-base and community coalitions. They expect to distribute about 2,000 calendars.

The Northampton Prevention Coalition is launching two campaigns to reach parents in the Northampton, MA area in the hopes of reducing underage substance use by reminding parents that family dinners are an effective way to help keep kids on track. They plan to distribute about 2,000 postcards in their community at the local school, libraries, City Hall, Department of Public Health, as well as a PTO event at Northampton High School that will promote family dinners.

Other groups celebrate Family Day by writing about it in their newsletters, on their websites and blogs and on their social media pages. Some people hold pot luck dinners in their neighborhoods and others create information packets with Family Day materials for parents to take home.

We hope these examples give you some ideas for how to celebrate! But if you’re still not sure, check out our Get Involved page which has suggestions for community groups, parents and individuals.

Let us know how you plan to celebrate this year and we’ll brainstorm ways to make your event a success!

Connecting with your kids is hard sometimes. We try to make it a little easier. Check out our top 10 suggestions below!

1. Really listen to your kids when they are talking to you even if it means taking a break from the dishes or missing part of your favorite TV program.

2. Get to know their schedules, friends, and teachers so you can ask, “Did you and Sam sit together at lunch today?” or “What song did Mr. Smith teach in music class today?” instead of simply asking, “What did you do today?”

3. Instead of saying, “You’re doing it wrong,” when your child makes a mistake, try saying, “Why don’t you try it this way.”

4. Teach your children to play jacks, use a yo-yo, knit, or do something you loved as a child. Or let your child choose something new you can learn together.

5. Get messy with them: Make snow angels, put your hands in the finger-paint, or mush up that clay.

6. Clip magazine pictures or articles that interest them.

7. Get out the photo albums and their baby books and tell your children stories about their beginnings.

8. At the end of each week, take turns sharing your week’s accomplishments around the dinner table.

9. Bend the rules sometimes. Let your children put on their boots and jump in the puddles you usually tell them to avoid.

10. Create a secret word, sign, or gesture of affection that only you and your child share.

How do you connect with your kids?

We’re so happy to have our Mom Blogger Amy Roskelley sharing her thoughts and experiences about the importance of family dinners and how she makes time to get everyone around the kitchen table. Check out her top 5 Ways to Make Time For Dinner:

As my kids get older, their activities demand more of our family time.  As young kids, there was seldom a night when we weren’t all together for dinner.  As teenagers and pre-teens, there is seldom a night that we are all together!  But these are the times that are most important for us to spend family time, even though we are busy!  So, we’ve adopted a few strategies that help us to spend meal time together, even though it’s tough.

1. We reserve Monday nights for family night.  Monday nights are sacred at our house.  Any activities that conflict with Monday  night, is simply not attended. Our local schools do not have athletics on Monday nights, our church avoids meetings on Monday, and we choose not to join any clubs that require us to be gone on Monday.  For as long as the kids can remember, we have always turned down invitations on Monday night in favor of Family night.

2. We turn off the TV.  We waste a lot of prime time watching TV, yet we have a recording device.  Once dad comes home, we turn off the TV, and sit down to eat with whoever is home.

3. We plan our meals and calendar the time.  On Sunday’s, we sit down and decide what we’ll eat for the week, as well as what time. This way, when the kids are out in the neighborhood playing, they know what time to be home. If we need to eat at 6, because we have a basketball game at 7, all the kids are on the same page, and they come home by 6!

4. We plan for dessert.  The easiest way to get my kids to the table, and have them stay at the table, is when they anticipate there will be dessert.  I hardly ever have a child be late for mealtime, when they know there are brownies to be enjoyed.

5. We stay flexible.  When we decide as a family, dinner is impossible to be together for, we may have lunch, brunch, or breakfast together.  This actually happens a lot on Sunday’s, when we get home from church at 2.  It’s much easier to have a big family meal at 2:30! We’re always starving after church, and we are altogether because we just got home.  If we wait any longer, inevitably, people start getting busy and leave.

It’s important to us to spend family time together.  I’m always shocked when I look back at the last 13 years and realize, my kids only have a few years left with me.  There is nothing I will regret more than being too busy to eat a meal together, and I’m anxious for those memories to stay with my kids when they leave home.

Amy Roskelley writes for the Super Healthy Kids blog.  She loves eating, writing recipes, and running as long and as far as possible!

One of our favorite things about celebrating Family Day all year round is being able to give parents tools to help make their family dinners easier, more interactive and more fun! We think the Family Dinner Kit does just that. Whether you’re whipping up a quick dinner for your family, getting the kids involved in the cooking or somewhere in between, it’s possible to make dinnertime quality family time.

Are you looking for ways to entertain your kids while you’re fixing their meal? Print out the Activity Mat and let them play! Let kids color in the Placemat or Family Coat of Arms during dessert and don’t forget to pick a square from the Family Fun Challenge after dinner. Or get creative with the Family Fun Stories and Fairy Tales!

We’d love to know which of the activities are favorites in your home. And if you have any suggestions for activities you’d like to see in the Family Dinner Kit, let us know – we’d love to hear from you!