Every Friday, we post inspiring parenting quotes on our Facebook and Twitter pages. We appreciate all of our friends and followers who “like”, “share” and “re-tweet” them! If you’ve missed some of the posts and would like to see what other engaged parents have said about parent and child relationships, here is a list of the top 10 quotes from January to April 2013:

• “Affirming words from moms and dads are like light switches. Speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child’s life and it’s like lighting up a whole roomful of possibilities.” -Gary Smalley

• “Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good affections grow.” -Thomas Bray

• “To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” -Barbara Johnson

• “A parent’s love is whole no matter how many times divided.” -Robert Brault

• “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” -Angela Schwindt

• “Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.” -Unknown

• “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” -Charles R. Swindoll

• “Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth.” -Virginia Satir

• “Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It’s about hanging on during a very bumpy ride.” -Ron Taffel

• “Every child deserves a chance at a life filled with love, laughter, friends and family.” -Marlo Thomas

What is your favorite quote and why? Share your thoughts with us, and continue checking our social media pages every Friday for more words of wisdom!

Throughout the year, we post fun family activities on our Facebook and Twitter pages. Thanks for continuing to “like”, “share” and “re-tweet” them!  If you’ve missed some of the posts, here is a list of 7 of the top activities from January to March 2013. Take a look and see how many you’ve tried already:

• Do you have a young writer in your family? Write a family story book together!: http://ow.ly/hJftf

• Making woven paper mats can be fun to make with your kids and nice to use at family meals! http://ow.ly/gUdBz

• Paint a family portrait with your kids (finger painting counts for the little ones!) Post a picture on our wall, or e-mail us a shot at familyday@casacolumbia.org, of your finished masterpiece!

• Do your kids have old crayons they don’t use anymore? Try this activity with your family: http://ow.ly/gxAPf

• Feeling artistic? Make collages with your kids out of old newspapers, magazines, stamps, etc.

• Try doing a playlist-swap with your teen this weekend. Make a playlist for them in exchange for one that they make for you.

• Learn about history while creating a family tree with your kids! http://ow.ly/gI0XG

Which activities does your family enjoy doing together? Share your thoughts with us!

When is my child most at risk of using substances?

As a parent, it’s important to understand and recognize that your kids may be at risk of using substances. You need to acknowledge that risk and set clear rules for your children – whether they are going to a party, a sleepover or hanging out with friends after school. As children move into their teenage years and make the necessary transitions into adulthood, they will face times when their risk of using drugs, tobacco and alcohol increases. In these times, your child will depend on you to help guide them in order to make the right decisions.

We know that as a child enters middle school and high school, they will be surrounded by older kids and peers who smoke, drink and use drugs. What once may have seemed like a disgusting habit to your child may now become more intriguing if they see the star athlete or head cheerleader experimenting. In schools, drugs can be easily available, and using might seem like a good option to kids when facing peer pressure and stress. Puberty is also a time of increased risk. Heightened anxiety/depression, the enticement of a risky experience, and the desire to be “cool” can all spark an interest in experimentation.

The good news is everything you do as a parent when your kids are growing up will benefit your child as they reach these key transitional times. Creating a foundation of communication, trust and support will let your kids know that you love them and will help to guide them towards right choices. Helping with homework, having dinner together, getting to know your child’s friends, talking openly about tough issues, being clear about rules and consequences, monitoring their whereabouts – these examples of parental engagement are great ways to stay involved in your kids’ lives during their formative years.

So tell us, how will you help prepare your kids for the pressures they’ll face in middle school or high school?

Do you need some help starting a discussion with your kids? Take a look at our conversation starters.

You have the power to help keep your kids substance-free, but you can’t do it from the sidelines. You’ll need to be intentional about being active in your kids’ lives.

Below are just a few examples of parental engagement. Go ahead, give them a read. You might be happily surprised to learn that you’re already on the right track!

1. Be There: Get Involved in your Children’s Lives and Activities. Going to your kids’ soccer games and dance recitals, eating dinner together as a family, helping them with their homework, attending religious services and taking walks together are all great ways to connect with your kids. Just being there to cheer them on in their successes and helping them in areas where they are struggling makes a difference. Parental praise, affection, acceptance, family bonding, and discipline are all associated with reduced risk of substance abuse.

2. Open the Lines of Communication and Keep Them Wide Open. Children who learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are much less likely to use them. Every year at CASAColumbia^TM we survey teens and they consistently tell us that “disappointing their parents” is a key reason that they don’t use drugs.  So although these conversations may be uncomfortable for you, it’s well worth making the time to talk to your kids about the dangers of substance use and sending them clear messages about not using substances.

3. Monitor your Children’s Whereabouts. Adolescents who are closely supervised by their parents are much less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs. The later teens are out with friends on a school night, the likelier it is that those friends are drinking or doing drugs. Knowing what your kids are doing after school and on the weekends helps you make sure that they’re not getting into trouble. So, who are their friends? Do you know their friends’ parents?  Who are they talking to online? What websites are they visiting?

So how did you fare? Share with us your ideas/thoughts about why it is important to be an engaged parent.

Together we can continue to help keep kids substance free!

For a list of the 9 Facets of Parental Engagement take a look at our infographic by clicking here.

Happy New Year! As this new year gets under way, we’d like to share that we are expanding our message to include not just family dinners as a way to help keep kids substance free, but parental engagement as a whole. Every day activities such as driving kids to soccer practice, tucking little ones into bed or having frequent family dinners have a lasting effect on children.

Parents, YOU make the difference! You are the single strongest influence in your child’s life. Building trust and keeping the lines of communication open with your children encourages them to talk to you if they ever feel the pressure to drink, smoke, or use drugs. The moments you share together offer valuable opportunities to connect, share and really listen to what they have to say.

At CASAColumbia^TM we know that children of hands-on parents are far less likely to smoke, drink or use other drugs. We also know that:

• A child who gets through their mid-twenties without smoking, abusing alcohol or using illicit drugs is virtually certain never to do so.
• During childhood and adolescence, using alcohol and other drugs can interfere with your child’s physical, emotional, and cognitive development. Scientific evidence demonstrates that teen alcohol and drug use interferes with brain development and can inflict serious, sometimes irreversible brain damage in the long term.
• The earlier and more often an adolescent smokes, drinks or uses illegal drugs, the likelier that adolescent is to become addicted.

A few great ways to stay involved in your kids’ lives are:

• Be ready to share and listen to them, which could be at anytime including on the drive home from basketball practice, during dinner or right before bed.
• Pencil in regular family activities such as having game nights, going biking or volunteering together.
• Get to know your kids’ friends, teachers, coaches and other people who play an important role in their lives.
• Talk to your pediatrician to make sure they are screening your children to prevent risky substance use and/or behavior.

For more ideas, take a look at our new Family Activity Kit.

We hope that we can count on your continued support of Family Day! Please note that Family Day will be celebrated nationwide on Monday, September 23rd this year.

What are some of the ways you make sure you stay involved with your kids? Share them with us!

Every Friday, we post a quote about parent and child relationships on our Facebook and Twitter pages. Thanks to all of you who continue to “like”, “share” and “re-tweet” them!  If you’ve missed some of the posts, here is a list of the top 10 quotes from July to October 2012. Enjoy!

• “Your job as a parent is to give your kids not only the instincts and talents to survive, but help them enjoy their lives.” – Susan Sarandon

• “There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.” – Sue Atkins

• “Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships.” – Jodie Foster

• “You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.” – Polish Proverb

• “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinhouse

• “We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

• “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara

• “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.” – Dorothy Parker.

• “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa

• “America’s drug problem is not going to be solved in courtrooms or legislative hearing rooms by judges and politicians. It will be solved in living rooms and dining rooms and across kitchen tables – by parents and families.” – Joseph A. Califano, Jr.

Do you have a favorite quote from this list? Let us know!

It’s important for parents to be hands-on in helping children navigate difficult situations that involve drugs and alcohol. We know that even schools that claim to be drug-free are rarely drug-free environments. We also know that peer pressure is a significant influence on whether children choose to experiment with substances.  So when they are exposed, there are several factors that distinguish the children who say yes from the children who say no. Your children need to be prepared for that moment when the offer comes and they need your help to do it.

Role-playing exercises are a good way to help children practice turning down an offer to drink, smoke or take drugs. You can take turns and have them try to pressure you into doing something dangerous too, which is a good way to model different ways to respond without sounding too preachy.

You should use different approaches when coaching boys and girls to turn down drug offers. Boys are likelier to be offered drugs at an earlier age than girls and in a public place such as a park, playground, or on the street. This means that it may be easier for a boy to walk away from the situation when it happens—but it may be harder for your son to avoid places where drug offers occur.

A friend may say: “C’mon, everyone will think we’re cool.” Coach your son to explain why doing drugs isn’t cool: “It’s addictive; it messes with your memory and intelligence; most kids aren’t doing it.” Another response that might feel comfortable to your son is suggesting an alternative activity—“No, thanks, I’d rather stay healthy, and pot makes you dumb and lazy. Let’s go shoot some hoops instead.”

When girls are offered cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, it’s more likely to be in a private setting, like at a friend’s house or when alone with an older boyfriend. Because it happens in an enclosed and intimate setting, it may be harder for your daughter to simply walk away or get out of the situation. Ask her to pretend her older boyfriend offers her a joint and says, “Want to try it? All the girls my age smoke marijuana, it’s no big deal.” You should acknowledge that saying no may be hard for your daughter because she wants her boyfriend to like her, but coming up with a response that makes her feel confident and comfortable ahead of time will take the pressure off.  Your daughter may also feel more comfortable simply saying no than debating whether drugs are a big deal. For example, she could practice saying, “No, thanks,” or “I can’t do that, my parents would kill me.”

Remember: it’s okay to encourage your child to use you as an excuse! Sometimes, when your child is uncomfortable with a situation, blaming Mom and Dad is the easiest way out for both your son and daughter.

Do you have some ideas for how to help teens say no? Let us know!

Check out some of our followers’ favorite family time posts from our Facebook and Twitter pages. Which is your favorite?

• Hey! Check out our July family fun calendar to help plan your busy summer! http://bit.ly/JzSW5v
• Tonight at the dinner table, have everyone go around and share their best moment of the day!
• Summer’s almost here! How can you avoid your teens’ “nothing to do” syndrome? http://ht.ly/bc0yn
• Great idea to get kids involved! “Encourage planning, keep it simple and amend recipes with cooking tips rather than hovering with advice.” http://nyti.ms/AsCPwj
• Remember that time you and your family had a great laugh over dinner? Keep these memories alive for more than just a mere moment with this simple family ritual: The Memory Jar. For 20 ways to help you start creating these priceless memories, check out our Family Fun Challenge: http://bit.ly/wPLfsx
• Liven up tonight’s dinner by making a CD or a playlist of your family’s favorite tunes and having everyone share about their song choices.
• Making smoothies together as a family can not only improve your health but also help you beat the heat! http://bit.ly/MPpoBy
• Dinner isn’t complete without dessert! Have the kids make their own ice cream with this recipe: http://ow.ly/bL3Kx
• Tonight after dinner, why not take a walk with your kids to enjoy the extended daylight hours?
• Go around the dinner table tonight and share 1 thing that you admire about each member of your family.

This summer, don’t let “I’m bored” be part of your kids’ vocabulary! Here are 10 ideas for fun indoor and outdoor activities to do with younger kids.

Indoors

Sew something together! Buy some cloth at a fabric store and make something simple – a blanket, a pillowcase, an apron or a rag doll.

Make a meal plan for the week with foods from a different country each night. Learn a little about Italy before eating spaghetti and meatballs, read up on India and make some chicken masala, find out 5 facts about China and make homemade egg rolls.

Make sock puppets from extra socks by decorating them with pieces of felt, buttons, markers and string. Help the kids create a short script, and then have them act out their play!

Why not start a book club for kids and parents? Read books that are interesting for all ages like “The Giver,” “The Little Prince” and “A Wrinkle in Time.”

Build a “club house” by using couch cushions, chairs, pillows and cardboard.

Outdoors

Make a lemonade stand and get creative with the flavors! Raspberry lemonade, peach lemonade, iced tea lemonade…

Go local! See if there are any farms nearby where you can buy fresh produce and pet the animals.

Buy disposable cameras and go on a fun learning adventure! Snap pictures of things from A to Z (an apple, a bird, a car, a dog, etc) or by color (a green leaf, a green car, a green cap). Make a scrapbook with your kids writing out the names next to the picture.

Create a butterfly garden or a birdhouse. Go to the store together to pick out materials and spend the afternoon building and learning about winged creatures.

Have a potluck picnic where the kids contribute by each making a dish. It can be as simple as no-bake dessert bites or fruit salad; just giving them the task of being responsible for their own dish will be a good experience!

What’s your kids’ favorite summertime activity?

How do you become engaged in your kids’ lives without making them feel like you’re invading their space or interrogating them? How do you talk about substance use without it turning into a fight?

The first step is to build good communication early on by just talking to your kids openly and honestly whenever you have a chance. Your children will feel more comfortable talking about difficult issues if they are already comfortable talking to you openly about their regular lives. For conversation starter ideas, try these.

When the time does come to talk about drugs and alcohol, it’s important to know the facts and stick to them. There is no need to exaggerate, lie or try scare tactics. There is enough science, medicine and law on your side for you to make a convincing point of why substance use is not worth it.

The conversation about drugs and alcohol can begin with you bringing up the topic or with your kids asking a relevant question that can lead to a conversation. They might ask if you’ve ever done drugs or if they are allowed to go to an unsupervised party. This can lead the conversation to a broader talk about drugs and alcohol that will serve as a lesson without sounding like you are preaching. For more on how to handle your child asking if you did drugs, see our post here.

If you feel it’s time for you to bring it up, it’s important to ask the right questions and to be an active listener. Instead of lecturing about the dangers of smoking marijuana, you might ask this: ‘Why do you think someone your age would want to smoke marijuana?” or “What would you do if your best friend started using drugs?” Or another option is to use one of these 5 everyday examples to prompt the conversation about drugs and alcohol.

It might help you to know – year after year CASA Columbia’s surveys find that teens name drugs as their main concern. This shows that teens do want to know about drugs and alcohol and they do want to talk about it and get your guidance and advice on how to handle tough situations, even though they don’t always make it easy. So remember: be knowledgeable about the facts, be a good listener, ask open-ended questions, don’t interrupt and allow your child to express themselves freely.

Have you already talked to your kids about substance use?  If so, how did it go?